UPDATED: I saw the spirits of two former leaders – Reuben Abati

Former media spokesperson for Goodluck Jonathan, Reuben Abati, has described some vivid paranormal activities surrounding Aso Villa.

According to Abati, “People tend to be alarmed when the Nigerian Presidency takes certain decisions.

“They don’t think the decision makes sense.

“Sometimes, they wonder if something has not gone wrong with the thinking process at that highest level of the country.

“I have heard people insist that there is some form of witchcraft at work in the country’s seat of government.

“I eventually became convinced that there must be something supernatural about power and closeness to it.

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“I was given an apartment to live in inside the Villa. It was furnished and equipped. I never slept there because of my experiences.

“A colleague once told me that I was the most naïve person around the place.

“I thought I was a bright, smart, professional doing my bit and enjoying the President’s confidence.

“But what I got in response was that I was coming to the villa using Lux soap, but that most people around the place always bathed in the morning with blood.

“Goat blood. Ram blood. Whatever animal blood.

“I argued. He said there were persons in the Villa walking upside down, head to the ground.

“I screamed. Everybody looked normal to me.

“Then on one of such occasions, we finished a meeting very late. Usually we stay behind for the president and other cabinet ministers to leave.

“As they left, I exchanged pleasantries with friends and made for the toilets.

“On negotiating a bend, I saw an unbelievable sight: two former leaders chatting down the hall way.

“Needless to say. I did the needful: ran for my life.

“I finally concluded that I was in a strange environment indeed. Every position change was an opportunity for warfare.

“I really don’t envy the people who work in Aso Villa, the seat of Nigeria’s Presidency.

“For about six months, I couldn’t even breathe properly. For another two months, I was on crutches.

“When Presidents make mistakes, they are probably victims of a force higher than what we can imagine.

Every student of Aso Villa politics would readily admit that when people get in there, they actually become something else.

“When you issue a well- crafted statement, the public accepts it wrongly.

“When the President makes a speech and he truly means well, the speech is interpreted wrongly by the public.

“When a policy is introduced, somehow, something just goes wrong.

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“In our days, a lot of people used to complain that the APC people were fighting us spiritually.

“But the APC folks now in power are dealing with the same demons. Since Buhari government assumed office, it has been one mistake after another.

“Those mistakes don’t look normal, the same way they didn’t look normal under President Jonathan.

“I am therefore convinced that there is an evil spell enveloping this country. We need to rescue Nigeria from the forces of darkness,” Abati said.

This is the satire Abati and his friends saw when they plundered our common patrimony.

No! There is nothing wrong with Aso villa. The only thing wrong with it are the people occupying it.